Working in Westminster

Intelligence not Required

 

 

 

 

By Roland Michel Tremblay

An insignificant sheep lost amongst the billions

 

 

44E The Grove, Isleworth, Middx, London, TW7 4JF, UK

020 8847 5586, 0794 127 1010

rm@crownedanarchist.com  www.crownedanarchist.com

 

 

 

 

Summary

 

 

Westminster’s Fever Part A

Working in Westminster Part B

I’m a West End Girl

I’m an East End Boy

Westminster No More

You are not Important Enough

Another Boring Day in Westminster

I Graduated, but Just

My Little Cousin

I’m Inspired Tonight

I am out of this world

I’ve become an undesirable

Am I alive?

Just admit it

Go ahead with your dreaming

Being stopped by love

I’m the Brain behind Westminster

Desperate People

Cockpit Steps

We were so naive

You’re so Perfect

Back Off Bitch!

I Hate Men

I’m a Westminster Icon

Dreaming on my Lunch Hour

I’m Such a Peaceful Fellow

I am not a Citizen

Another Panic Attack

I'm Useless

No Way Out

If alcohol did not exist

Trying to Connect

When I was a little boy

Describing the Heart of London

I bumped into the Prime Minister

Remaining true to oneself

Get inspired, if you can

Making History

I’m your Westminster’s Whore

He slept with a prostitute!

Should I vote Labour or Conservative?

Guilty!

Other White

Lady Di is Dead

Who will remember you in 20 years?

I’m Self-Centred

I’m worth more than any of you

Alien Nation

Love is an overrated meaningless concept

I’m still a Virgin

The Cynicism Paradox

My neighbours are bunkers

Surrounded by incompetence

Blogging things

Election Day

What sort of government would respect the law?

Warning! My fish has died

I’ve reached rock bottom

I am now a Satanist

You’re such a liar

It will be over faster than making coffee

Tea Time

Let’s exploit them all

The Master Bitch of Westminster

The most miserable human being on earth

Dear me, I’m working with Thatcher herself

The ODPM has failed again

You’re corrupt

I’ve gone mad!

Another Disciplinary

Oh yes, you’re history

King Henry the Eighth

Darkest Moments, Brightest Successes

Ideas of Greatness

Where’s that damn cancer?

Bombs under London

Do you think Londoners will leave London now?

More security in London, are you joking?

Brixton, the Pulse of the Nation

I’m not proud

The Corporation

Am I just fast food?

An insignificant sheep lost amongst the billions

I am in turmoil

My God! I’m a force of nature!

Imprisoned for treason

I want to be God!

Geniuses are killed before they’re born

I'm moving to L.A.!

I'm out of here!

Fuck Mummy! I will succeed!

Changing our Perspective

My year of hell in Westminster

In Between Days

It’s party time!

Did you ever exist?

I will fall flat on my face

I have resigned from Westminster

Hollywood, here I come!

 

 

 

 

Westminster’s Fever Part A

 

Oh Westminster

So much to answer for

I have been seduced

Now I could not picture my life without you

 You’re anything and everything

Symbol of life and hell

For the world to enjoy and suffer

See the end or the beginning of things

I will celebrate you

Forever and ever

 

Oh Westminster

So much to answer for

Wrong book, wrong time, wrong soul

How have I fell in love with you?

It is beyond understanding

It goes against every fibre in my body

And yet, I am here

To open my eyes and fall on my knees

And pray for your protection

Against the evil of this world

I must have been brainwashed

And yet, I am here every day

Hoping that you will be my salvation

 

Oh Westminster

So much to answer for

What are you really?

What do you hide behind so much history?

Who else is to come to make you powerful?

And will you ever die?

From you came unhappiness

From you came death

There’s no denying it

It is recorded everywhere for posterity

Yet, you mean so much to me

I need to be cured from this insane love affair

 

 

Working in Westminster Part B

 

9 O’clock rings at the Big Ben again

Are we Monday or Friday?

Today, been debating the new Building Regulations Part L addendum

About… boilers

All day

All week

All month

Seventy conferences

One hundred and twenty workshops

And I’m not exaggerating

Making the life of everybody a misery

I’m just gonna take a gun and shoot myself

 

12 O’clock rings at the Big Ben again

Can’t tell what day this is

Today, been debating Dispute Resolution, Arbitration, Adjudication

The hell of Construction and Engineering Law

Filled with land mines

Which cannot fail to explode in your face

In every single project

Delays, over budget, gold pot for every solicitor and barrister

Making the life of everybody a living hell

I’m just gonna take a gun and shoot them all

 

5 O’clock rings at the Big Ben again

I think it’s Saturday

I’m still at work

Today, energy, regeneration, development, environment

Regulations regulating till death

Sustainability! The new buzz word that means nothing

Don’t care about Global Warming, Global Dimming

Don’t give a shit about Asbestos

Making life not worth living

Free me! Free yourself!

Let me get out of Westminster for good!

Before I become the new law!

Before I start dictating the new regulations!

Before I rule this world!

 

Westminster

Before you take away our last dying breath

I’m just gonna take a gun and shoot you

 

 

I’m a West End Girl

 

My Dad came from Africa

Diplomatic things

I’ve been living in Oxford Circus all my life

In a flat paid by the British government

Everything within walking distance

Can’t stand working in Westminster

Not even a sandwich shop within a mile

Got to go to Victoria for that

No good for me

I’m a Mensa member, you understand

In the 2% superior race

93% Geek Girl

My brain’s about to crack

As I’m so intelligent

I’m the black sheep of the family

Don’t believe in religion

Don’t believe in the Right

Don’t believe in marriage

Don’t believe in anything really

I’m a West End girl you know

Proud of all that meaningless crap

Because it gives my life a meaning

Because otherwise I’m worthless

My hair is so shiny

My boobs are crying to get out all over your face

Am I worth meeting or what?

I run this place, I’ve been here for years

And you better understand me

Or I’ll destroy you

 

 

I’m an East End Boy

 

I’m just an Executive

I can’t speak

I can’t think

Yet I’m trying to impress the boss

Got to try to save my job

He’s the big bastard

About to sack everybody

I’m first on his list

I cannot stop thinking about my next pint

The next party

These never ending meetings bore me to death

Oh, I have to fight so hard to stay awake

God knows how I’ve been able to maintain myself in Westminster for so long

It must be clear to everyone that I don’t belong here

Must be because my Manager fancies me

No other explanation

Or else, in Westminster, no need for a brain

The scum of London ends up here

The ones incapable of accomplishing anything all day

No problems, intelligence is not required in Parliament Square

The bastard won’t succeed

I’ll still be working here when he’s gone

Mummy, I’ll make you proud

One day I’ll be the Manager

Even though I will still not know what it is

that I am supposed to do here

No problems

We’re in Westminster

Intelligent people need not apply

 

 

Westminster No More

 

Oh dear, I’m stressed to death

Tomorrow is back to Parliament Square

I would do anything not to go

I would wash your feet and clean your teeth

I would tuck you to bed and kiss your children like a good boy

I would do your dishes and your washing

I would do anything!

But please, please, please

Don’t let me go to Parliament Square ever again

 

Oh dear, my existential crisis has reached a critical stage

Tomorrow is back to the Big Ben

I will do anything not to go

I am quite prepared to stop writing and whinging

I will pretend that I have never existed

I will disappear somewhere

You will never hear from me again

I will do anything!

But please, please, please

Don’t let me go to the Big Ben ever again

 

Oh dear, I’m having a heart attack

Tomorrow is back to Westminster

I must do anything not to go

I must get out of this job

I must move any mountains along the way

I must become crazy

That’s my only way out, I’m afraid

No more begging

To not have to go back to Westminster

I must do insane things!

So you better watch out

Cos I am reaching the end of my tether

 

 

 

You are not Important Enough

 

Who are you?

That important, hey?

Sorry Sir, I had not realised

How important you are

The respect you deserve

Such accomplishments

Such a social status

So much money

Is that your car outside?

Were you not on the news yesterday?

Were you not in Iraq last week?

Yeah, yeah, I know you saved the world once again

I have heard of your deal

Common knowledge how great you are

Let me make you a coffee

Let me order you an egg sandwich

Let me wipe your bum

I meant, let me wipe your seat

Please sit here

My boss will be with you in a moment

Tell me, how’s the wife, the kids?

How is it going with the Palestine?

Any chance for peace in the next thousand years?

Sorry, yes Sir, I will mind my own business from now on

I will care only for things that are from my level of intelligence

Here is your coffee

Ah, your egg sandwich just arrived

The toilets are on the right, but they’re broken

No, four floors down for the next one

No time, sorry, my boss is ready for you

Don’t worry, so much shit comes out of your mouth most of the time

Perhaps you would care to shit from the right hole this time

It was a pleasure meeting you

Have a nice day Sir

 

 

Another Boring Day in Westminster

 

God!

The Prime Minister babbled some bollocks again about the war, yawn

The Chancellor or something tried to be as eloquent, useless

The Mayor is being accused of being anti-Semite, whatever

The Prince wants to marry his sweetheart, but it’s against the law

I thought the day would never end!

 

God!

The phone never stopped ringing

My boss never left his desk

The whores around me were in full swing

Flowers were delivered to Master Bitch

I thought the day would never end!

 

God!

The Creative department showed just how they don’t deserve their title

The Marketing department confirmed that they are not doing any marketing

The Sales department confirmed that they don’t exist

The COO caught me doing absolutely nothing

I thought the day would never end!

 

God!

A bug crossed my desk in about 10 full minutes

The Big Ben rang for half an hour for no reason

A cloud went across the sky, was wondering if it would finally snow

For a second there, I was certain my computer clock went backward

I thought the day would never end!

 

Just what I needed

Another boring day in Westminster

 

 

I Graduated, but Just

 

Any idiot could do that

The difference is I never attended any of my graduation ceremonies

Thank god!

But I guess the main reason is

I never graduated in anything worth attending

Let’s face it

Literature is worth nothing

A degree in that is the equivalent to a degree in refuse collection

I have about as much worth as a garbage man

Such a worthy title

I wish I could do just that

Collect garbage in Westminster all day long

At the very least I would be outside

Cursing you and your bin

Oh how I wish I was just nothing

I feel just like that anyway

One step further

Make me a garbage man

I have the degree

I have the diploma

I studied in University for 8 years

I must deserve anything I damn want

And what I want

Is to be nothing

With the right title

Your garbage man Madame

Your refuse collector Monsieur

To serve you

Please, thanks, bye bye

Next house

Next bin

Next life

 

 

I’m Inspired Tonight

 

I’m inspired tonight

And that means everything

Cos I haven’t been inspired much lately

 

Blame it on the daily job in Westminster

Blame it on the uninspired people I have to deal with everyday

Insignificant people who are just waiting for their day to die

Making sure they get everyone in their wave

To die with them without leaving any mark on this planet whatsoever

 

How many times must I fall into these crowds

Of already dead people

Living an empty life

Concerned with only futilities

Incapable of seeing globally

Unless a fucking Tsunami happens

And kills a few people

Oh God, I don’t care if it is 3,000 or 200,000 or a billion

I just wish I was in Indonesia when it happened

 

Life is worth nothing

Best proof were only ants thinking were geniuses

When really we’re nothing more than nothing

Let the wave take us all

And let’s enjoy the silence

 

 

I am out of this world

 

I have reached that fine line that no one should cross

I believe I have lost all inspiration

All these books I have never read and probably will never read

Perhaps it is just my imagination

How should I know?

They just basically steal everything

And repeat the same stuff over and over again

And turn it into in such a way that no one could sue anyone

Not that I would sue anyone anyway

My Ego has grown to the size of a small planet

Perhaps I am too out there

But that’s the only way to reach out to anyone

I just have to shut my big mouth

Continue to write forever and ever

I will get there one day

Just have to be careful

Keep my feet on the ground

And continue to inspire people

But who cares anyway

I’ve always said I was beyond all that

Thinking more about suicide than recognition

And that’s so fucking true

Give me a gun any day

That is so much more important to me than anything else

Because I’m so bored with this life

It’s getting me nowhere worthwhile

Successes are short lived

My Ego grows in size only for a few seconds

Until I get back to my useless reality

I’m still the unhappiest person on this planet

Whatever my accomplishments

More than once I wanted to just shoot the persons in front of me

I can’t stand anyone anymore

I can’t stand anything anymore

The news are killing me

Society is killing me

You are killing me

Damn it!

You are just a useless bunch of people

I don’t give a fucking fuck about any of you

If you could just die, it may make me happy

I guess I just want to isolate myself from everything and everyone

And I can’t even do that

Useless planet, useless world

I need to get out of here!

I need to breathe!

I don’t need you or your recognition

Go fuck yourself, all of you!

 

 

I’ve become an undesirable

 

Employment agencies are afraid of me

They think I want to commit suicide

Employers believe I’m some sort of anarchist

They may even think I am some sort of terrorist

How funny

Because what I’m saying is often what most people think

And yet, by not saying anything, they are somehow off the hook

 

I won’t shut up!

I won’t stop saying what I believe!

If it costs me a lot, then I’ll just have to assume it

It’s in my nature and we cannot change our nature

Oh sad people of this world

At least I understand you

I talk for you

Since you cannot express anything yourself

 

Oh god, what am I gonna do?

Is there anything I can do at this point?

I am so tired of lying to everyone

Pretend that I am someone that I am not

Fighting for things I don’t believe in

 

And what is it that I believe in?

In time I have forgotten

Never mind, I have written a lot on the subject

Surely something will remain of what I have written?

And if not, so be it

I don’t care

I don’t believe in anything

And that’s how it should be

 

 

Am I alive?

 

Am I insensible?

Oh yeah

 

Am I heartless?

Oh yeah

 

Am I pessimistic?

Oh yeah

 

Am I totally lost?

Oh yeah

 

Am I disgusted by everything I see?

Oh yeah

 

Have I lost faith in humanity?

Oh yeah

 

Am I sadistic?

Oh yeah

 

Am I dead?

Oh yeah

 

Am I a murderer?

 

 

Just admit it

 

You have debts

You don’t love the person you’re living with

You hate your parents and friends

You’re a psychopath

You’re a drug addict

You’re a mental case

You’re a misfit

You don’t fit in

You’re as depressed as I am

You can’t stand anyone

You’re fed up with life

You’re that close to tell everybody to fuck off

 

Just admit it

You’ll feel better

And if not

You are a fucking sad case

Conditioned to perfection

Brainwashed beyond hope

Ready for the asylum

There’s no hope for you

You certainly can’t help yourself

God help you

 

 

Go ahead with your dreaming

 

For what it is worth

To hope for so much

Can only be deceived the day it becomes reality

 

How I wish I never had any dream

Never succeeded in making them come true

What is there left for me now?

 

No more dream worth pursuing

No hope that one day everything will fall into place

That I'll be free to do as I wish

 

If I were to go back in time and decide to pursue my dreams

I would not do anything

Better continue to hope in a better world than be disappointed

 

You are guilty for making the world what it is

To be powerless in changing it

To not even try

 

Go ahead with your dreaming, for what it is worth

Hope in a better world is all there is left

Cos' there'll never be a better world

 

 

Being stopped by love

 

Love is no reason to stop you living

Love is no reason to stop you from having friends

Love is no reason to stop you from smoking and drinking

Love is no reason to stop you from living the way you should

 

Love is a prison

Love is the biggest obstacle to conquered

Love is everything between you and success

Love is not worth it

 

Let’s face it, how many times a month do you actually have sex with your loved one?

Without having to beg for it?

Madness, useless, crazy

Love, overrated, not worth it

 

How much more whinging must one suffer?

Complaints going on and on and on?

Bitching and blaming and accusations…

It’s a living hell!

 

Love, is not really love

It stops life

No way

Just get rid of it

 

Oh, how I wish I could!

 

 

I’m the Brain behind Westminster

 

Look at him!

Parliament Square

He’s the big Minister

He is what we are and what we represent

But don’t listen to him for too long

You would soon realize he has no brain

That’s why I’m here

I’m the brain behind the Mongol

Useless to talk to him, talk to me

Or else whatever you say will not be acted upon

Wasted, wasted, wasted… that’s our definition

That’s us!

Unless you speak to me

I’m the only brain out here

I’m the assistant, you see…

Call my Mycroft Holmes

Without me the world cannot go round

Without me, there is no world

I am it

I am everything

I am the Assistant to the big Minister

Waste your time!

I’m sure it has been taken into consideration in the budget

Let’s contact the Honourable Mr. Justice whatever…

The Prime Minister or whatever…

All gone… in more important meetings that will never end

You need the assistant

I will make it happen

I will make it all come true

I’m the power behind the pretence

What have you done for me lately?

Nothing?

Then you can forget it

I don’t give a shit about you

Don’t even try, I was the one you needed to seduce

To convince

To pay

And I’m not convinced

Your project will fail

No budget allocated to that, I can tell you

See ya at the next party!

I’ll be the one out of control

The one that everyone believes will be sacked

But hey, I’m the brain behind the power

I decide everything around here

Sad it took you so long to understand it

You will be sacked now, any time soon

Because I don’t like you

Because you don’t like me

It is as simple as that

Better luck next time

Hi ha, hi ho, ya hoo!

Wonderful, I am in control of the country

I am the Assistant, you see

I decide everything around here

And you are not part of that plan

Sorry…

Next!

 

 

Desperate People

 

What time is it?

Five minutes past midnight

Can I buy cigarettes and alcohol at this time?

I’m working tomorrow

It would kill me to go out now

Yet, I need to go on

Build history

Tell you of these times where nothing of significance is happening

Never mind the wars

The petty laws that we believe to be the signs of Big Brother lurking in

We are still far away from Defcon 1

Even though I can see that I am dying

Of old age… how sad

At this point, nothing means anything

I’m a desperate man!

I want everything on a gold platter

I believe I deserve it

But I don’t

And no one else deserves it

That’s the problem

They’re all desperate

For some sort of recognition

They want to be part of history

To change something on a massive scale

They will all die hopeless

None of them did anything worth mentioning

Desperate people

Will never get anywhere

You see, things happen out of your control

Things will always happen out of your control

And what will humanity remember

Can only come from people like me

And I choose carefully what I wish to be remembered

At the moment, nothing

I’m a desperate man

Nothing to pursue, to admit, to declare

Automated world for automatons

Brainwashed people completely brain dead

What could I add to change your legacy?

Nothing

Complete success

We’re all desperate people

 

 

Cockpit Steps

 

My dear Cockpit Steps!

You mean so much to me!

Westminster and all

My dream now achieved

I am here to stay

For the moment

I live here

I am it

I am everywhere

 

My Cockpit Steps!

All mine!

For all I care

Nothing before me existed

Nothing after me will ever exist

I am history

At the present time

For eternity

 

My Cockpit Steps

No one will ever steal them from me

I will get them known

I will make sure everyone knows where they are

What they mean to Westminster

They mean lunch time

They mean the sandwich before St James’s park

They mean government stuff

Policy, regulation, law

 

My Cockpit Steps…

You just know that anyone of any importance in history

Has climbed those steps

And I am climbing them every day

Am I important to history?

I sure hope I am

Or else we’re all doomed

After my death

Remember

 

The Cockpit Steps

And hopefully it will make sense

Sense of it all

I’m talking bullocks

I hope you understand that

Or else, we’re all doomed for real

 

No one of any importance has ever climbed

My Cockpit Steps

 

 

We were so naive

 

Can’t say I was not there first

Can’t say I was not as stupid as you were

Can’t say I too thought it would open me all the doors of the world

 

The thing is that I quickly realised that it was all worthless

And I was there because I enjoyed it

Not like you who could not understand that no doors would ever open

 

I wonder where you are today

Not that I would want to meet you

I would be quite happy if you were already dead

I can’t imagine why you would be happy to hear from me now

 

We only existed for a fraction of a second

On a timeline already destroyed

Yet, we believed it was the perfect moment in time

That we are now part of history

Of something bigger than we will ever be able to reach on our own

 

We would talk about it like if there was no tomorrow

Like if anything coming after was just not worth mentioning

Not hard to imagine

Nothing great is anywhere near from bursting into our lives now

The world seems to have come to an end

No imagination or revolutionary idea anywhere

We were it!

London!

On a Friday night, means everything…

Or are we just kidding ourselves?

Was it so powerful?

I just can’t tell

 

Perhaps we were just so naive

To believe that we were changing the world

I certainly felt like I was influencing a few people

I was just as naive as you

 

I just could not face you now

You’re probably a solicitor or a doctor

Make’s me want to puke everywhere

God I hope you’re dead!

 

I was so naive…

 

 

You’re so Perfect

 

You put me to shame

You’re the PA of the whole government

And you’re so perfect

I work beside you

With all my neurosis, psychological problems, there’s no end to it

And yet you are made of steel

Everything just rubs over your feathers like a duck in St James’s Park

Your sister was Miss World from South America

It might as well have been you

So much intelligence

So much understanding of life

So many ways to defuse every single bomb dropping on our head

You’re so perfect

That’s just it

You’re the government

You are the glue that keeps it all together

How sad that ultimately you’re not the one making the decisions around here

You would certainly solve every single problem this dying civilisation is facing

If only you were not just a PA

If only you were recognized as the person saving the day, every day

Let’s face it

You are diplomacy

You are the smile on the face of these disgusting fat politicians with no future

You are the one maintaining them where they are

You are the genius behind the power

You’re so damn perfect

It makes me sick

Oh, how I just wish I was like you

Not bothered by any fucking bitch around who feels like dictating

Bunch of dictators in the making

And yet you are able to stop them in their tracks

You need to be commended

You deserve an OBE

The Queen herself should hire you

Just sad that your brain is not working

When the time comes to understand anything

Of what is going on around you

I believe you are intelligent enough

It’s just that you have been brainwashed

Fortune, money, fashion

Friday night big lunch in the higher spheres of London

Showing off

You have forgotten you real role in all of this

You are blind to your power

Every time you speak with the brains around here

You just don’t understand that, in all your innocence

You are the real intelligence

But I guess that if you understood that

You could never really be the brain here

Or influence the brains around here

You might as well just be the innocent and insignificant PA

And play your role in humanity’s destiny

 

 

Back Off Bitch!

 

Back off bitch!

Yeah, you!

Surely you recognise yourself?

You’ve made my life a misery for years

In every job I ever had

Always, you, to bitch around

And give me shit

 

Back off bitch!

What the fuck is going through your mind?

That’s so different from what’s running in mine?

Why, oh why, are we so different?

And why is it that you always somehow feel the need to hate me?

What have I done to God to deserve you?

A bitch in every corner, in every country, I tell you

 

Back off bitch!

Ah, you’re new

You’re my boss

I know you

You’re just like the others

A bitch waiting to destroy me

You need a good fuck, that’s what you need

 

Back off bitch!

Westminster is full of them

Never again will I suffer you

I’ll kill you before

It’s a promise

To all the bitches of the world

 

Back off bitch!

Could it be that I am the problem?

Have I got a sticker on my forehead?

Warning all of you that it won’t work?

Have I got too many opinions?

Am I trying too much to please you without success?

Or is it just that you cannot share the limelight with me?

I must be a threat to you, no other explanation possible

Well, I better get you sacked and take your place then…

 

Back off bitch!

Or I’ll get rid of you

 

 

My Little Cousin

 

She’s done it again

My little cousin was nothing

She was picked up by the Master

Just like I was

She became number one in every country overnight

I became absolutely nothing

I wish I could hate her

But she’s more anarchist than I’ll ever be

She’s done it again

Her last song is just perfect

I wish I had written that

I wish I was singing it

It’s killing me

Jealousy on a massive scale

How could I fail so spectacularly?

 When she succeeds so exceptionally?

I’m dreaming that one day I’ll be there where she is

My little cousin

 For now I can take comfort

In the fact that my little cousin is not happy

Success looks so bad on you, cousin

That you talk of suicide for the whole world to hear

Have you lost yourself in misery?

Just like me

What has gone wrong?

That in some easy steps

You'll show us how leadership looks when taught by the best

You perhaps think that I don’t know?

Only you can build your life achievement award

And I can tell you that you are getting there

Unlike me

Who’s still stuck in Parliament Square

Forever and ever

One of us needs to be heard

Good luck cousin…

 

 

I Hate Men

 

Have I said it before?

I don’t think so

But I do hate them

I hate all men

Not too sure why

Perhaps because I am such a feminist

Perhaps because I feel so intelligent compare with any man

(I’m not a man, thank god for that)

(Neither a woman, thank god for that)

(Not sure what I am, I must be an alien)

Not too difficult to understand why

Every single man proves everyday just how stupid he is

One would wonder why the fuck they are in charge of everything

With so small a brain

That they will just never understand anything

About the ways of this world

It is this superiority complex that confuses everyone

Their feeling that they know best

Their high position, high social status, that blinds us

Deep down they know

Deep down we know

They’re useless, just useless

They have no intelligence

They don’t understand the first thing

Dear me, how can we still trust them as CEOs?

They will bring this world to an end

Quicker than we can even imagine

This has gone on for too long

Only women should have any right to climb the hierarchy

Only women have the brain to get anywhere

Only women can understand this world

Never trust a man again

They know fuck about the world

And yet

Every woman I meet in a position of power is a bitch

I hate women in power

Perhaps they are no better than men

I guess we can only trust women who are not climbing the hierarchy

That poor woman out there who’s nothing

She should be the next CEO

The next Prime Minister

The next President of the United States

The next Head of the U.N.

Let’s not give her the choice

Let’s get her elected

And finally let’s breathe for a while

(Unless she talks religion, then we must shoot her right there)

For God’s sake!

Let’s do it

Let’s do it now, please!

Only then the world will be a safe place to live

 

 

I’m a Westminster Icon

 

Rats everywhere!

I’m an icon

Dead, shut up bitch!

 

What you want is not what I want

I am not getting older, whore

It’s just that everything out there is just soooooo much craaaap

That my brain stopped working altogether

 

Sheep everywhere!

That we all love the same shit

Not me… fuck you

 

I’m the Marginal

I’m the Anarchist

I’m wasted on everyone

 

Yet, I’m getting somewhere

I’m a Westminster Icon

I’m inspiring the whole planet

 

Generations and generations of lost ones

Electrified by originality

Big hopes for such a futile civilisation

 

Don’t listen to anyone telling you what to do

They don’t know what to do

Or else they would do it

 

Conformist bastards

How can you be proud?

Unless you’re the only lost one out there

 

Open your damn heart to different possibilities

Open your eyes to the alternative

Get out and get inspired!

 

Baby, baby, baby, I Love You

One more time

You wankers

And I’m out of here

 

 

Dreaming on my Lunch Hour

 

In between each bite of my Panini

Sitting on a bench in St James’s Park

I’m dreaming that I am the Prime Minister

I talk about unemployment, alcoholism, god, religion, war

I annihilate what remains of the Third and Second Worlds

I am all powerful and threatening and condescending

I am making a huge difference

Then I realise I’m just that little and insignificant executive

 

In between each crisp

Sitting on a bench by the Thames in front of the Parliament

I’m dreaming that I am a known songwriter

Singing in the biggest alternative band around

I sing about humanity’s problems, doing satires

I have a voice, and my God it is reaching out

I roll in millions while pretending that I’m the poorest and most miserable

Then I realise that I am nothing and will never be anything worthwhile

 

In between each sip of my orange juice

Standing right in the middle of Parliament Square

I am no longer dreaming

I don’t want to be anyone anymore

I hear those morons denouncing god knows what

I see business people obviously making a fortune

An army of politicians walking in every direction

Probably wasting their time and collecting their pay check

I see tourists taking photos, so many photos, I must appear in all of them

I have seen the most photographed phone booth in the world

I’m not impressed

I’m quite pleased not to be anything worthwhile

 

I’m so fed up with everything and everyone

Hear all that crap every single day

Politicians who don’t know what they’re talking about

Meaningless journalists inventing front page stories

Everyone’s lying through their teeth

Everywhere, propaganda

My head’s about to explode!

One more lunch hour in Westminster

And I’ll bomb the place

 

In between each bite of my blueberry muffin

Walking on Westminster Bridge

I’m dreaming that I am a terrorist

I talk about unemployment, alcoholism, god, religion, war

I annihilate what remains of the First World

I am all powerful and threatening and condescending

I am making a huge difference

Then I realise I’m just that little and insignificant executive

 

 

I’m such a Peaceful Fellow

 

Have I mentioned that I was a peaceful fellow?

I pay my taxes every month

I read Sherlock Holmes stories night and days

In fact, I need that to escape the world I live in

I am so polite, it’s almost disgusting

I’m such a nice person

I’m always laughing, a big smile on my face

Everyone loves me

I have a magnetic personality

 I am successful at my job

I am being recognised for what I am

A valuable and hard working employee

A sympathetic colleague

A happy go lucky and simple minded person

The nicest and softest guy around

 

How do you explain this then?

How do you explain that when I am drunk

I turn into Mr. Hyde?

I can’t

It makes no sense

No one would ever understand

I would throw myself in the Thames tomorrow morning

And no one would be able to explain why

Perhaps that’s the problem

In such a world of hypocrisy

How can you tell if someone is unhappy?

How can you realise that something is fundamentally wrong?

That the whole world is flawed?

You can’t

You find the body a few yards away

It’s a mystery

You don’t question anything

 You don’t put back anything into question

For one that commits suicide

A thousand think of it but lack the courage

But what is wrong with society?

What is wrong with you?

I don’t know

I just know that it makes me want to depart this world

 

There must be something wrong

There must be something that could be changed

I don’t think so

It must be me

Only me

Alone in a million

Who can’t stand anything

The only one who can see the brainwashing

The only one who understands the manipulation

The only one who can see right through you

 

What’s wrong with me?

Why is it that I just can’t accept everything for cash

Be blind like the rest of the population?

And be happy reading my newspaper every day

Without questioning everything

Without understanding the motivations behind and the artifice

 

Oh why have I got a brain?

Never thought of disconnecting the few capable of seeing through your game?

I just wanted to be happy in my blissful ignorance

I don’t care about power and who’s got it

I don’t mind a few wars and genocides somewhere else on the planet

I don’t even give a fuck if you’re stealing millions from the tax payers

I just don’t want to hear from you

I just don’t want to know that you even exist

I don’t want to see your corruption right there in front of me

I don’t want to hear your miserable stories and your scandals

I just want to live, to breathe, to be happy!

This has not materialised, it has not happened

I am not free to think by myself

I am not free to have peace

I am right there in the middle of it all

And everyday I see stupidity surrounding me

You must think we’re gullible

I’m not

I need to free myself from you

I need to free myself from Westminster

I need to free myself from the modern and uncivilised world

I need to get out of here!

 

I used to be such a peaceful fellow, you know

I was ignorant

I was empty

And now I am full of your shit

It’s unbearable

So when I’m drunk

I can no longer pretend

I’m no longer that peaceful fellow

I’m a revolutionary guy ready to do his revolution

You have made this place impossible to live

You have only yourself to blame

 

It could be just me

However

If more disgruntled people say the same thing

You’ll know that I’m not the only one who’s fed up

You’ll know you have a big problem on your hands

You’ll know it’s time for a change

And if not, then others will

And perhaps finally you’ll all disappear from my life

 

Let it be known

I am no longer a peaceful fellow

 

 

I am not a Citizen

 

Sorry, oh dear, I forgot

I am not a citizen

I have no rights whatsoever

I am only a guest in England

At any moment I could be kicked out

Especially if I am a trouble maker

Sorry, just got my Permanent Residency

Will be more difficult to get rid of me now

Better work hard right now to prevent me

From asking for my British Citizenship next year

There will be no stopping me then

I’ll be more British than the Queen

After ten years in London

You would have thought that I was more British than the Brits anyway

But right now I am still immigration scum

With the most basic rights only

And only because of the European Union

If it was up to you, I would have been out years ago

I gain a bit more rights every year

Took a long long time

Came too late in my case but I’m still here anyway

Must have been the most difficult thing ever

Get a permanent residency

Only took ten years, a few solicitors and huge bills that I can’t pay

I have finally beaten the bureaucratic system!

I’m allowed to live somewhere else than where I was born

Even though it is limited to this island

So ridiculous when you think of it

I can hear many of you wishing that I was actually gone

No doubt a few critics will say so quite openly

I don’t care

I have as much right as any of you to be here

I should be able to live anywhere I want

Or else humans on this planet have no rights whatsoever

The whole chart of freedom and liberties is just bollocks

The Constitution is good for the bin

I understand that if you were more open

The whole of Africa would move instantly on your little island

I’m sure this prospect does not help you sleep at night

Perhaps if you had not made their world such a misery

Perhaps if you had helped them instead of robbing them of everything

They would not want to move here in the first place

Nobody’s perfect

You certainly are not

Make’s me wonder why I want to be here

So many British I meet just don’t understand why I want to live here

Because they don’t want to live here either

I guess it’s just that in Canada it’s even worse

People don’t seem to have a mind

Must be the proximity of the United States

Nobody’s perfect

They certainly are not

Despite the peaceful image of rightfulness they project

Makes me sick, I could not leave quickly enough

I just wanted to live somewhere else

To escape

And I am ready to do just that again

Next step

I need to get out of the solar system

I’m ready to be shipped on the first rocket

Contemplating the stars forever

Until I die

Without thinking at all

That’s my dream

One day I will achieve it

Because let’s face it

If I succeeded in getting my permanent residency in England

Then I can succeed at anything

 

 

Another Panic Attack

 

That's it, this time I'll be sacked

I wasted so many months doing nothing

Now they have noticed

They called a meeting

We will discuss my no future within the organisation

How I have been doing everything else but my job

How I tried every last trick in the book to avoid working

Why I am always so sick and never at work

The mistake that I am and the mistake of hiring me

 

Another panic attack

It's coming, I can feel it

I'm doomed

How I thought I could get away with it

I must have been living on another planet

I'll pay the price for my poor track record

My foolishness, my wretchedness

 

I can't breath

More nightmares, every single night

I still have a professional conscience

How I wish I could work three times harder now

To compensate for my failure

I want to start all over again

I want to take life more seriously

I want to be more ambitious

Right there is the problem

I am the least ambitious man on the planet

I can't take life seriously

I don't want to start all over again

I have failure written all over me

I deserve to be sacked

To be deleted

To have never existed

 

How I wish I did not care

That stress was not eating me alive

Can't help it

I'm a waste of time

Another panic attack

 

 

I'm Useless

 

I wanted to be at the top of the world

I wanted to be a billionaire

I had dreams of controlling the planet

I thought I would wipe out everyone on my way to success

 

I am at the bottom of the world

I have more debts than England

I am not even controlling my five cats

People wipe me out on their way to success

 

I was going to be the best Prime Minister there ever was

I wanted to be a business man with a conscience

I was going to help people get out of their misery

I was different and I was going to make a difference

 

Politics makes me sick

Capitalism is killing me

I am the most miserable sod there is

I'm different all right, but nowhere near making any difference

 

I wanted to be a rock star

I saw myself as the best author ever

I would have make movies worthy of the Oscars

I was on my way to revolutionise everything

 

I can't even play a note

I can't write anything worthy of any attention

I held an Oscar once, and that's about it for that

My revolution has yet to come

 

I'm hopeless at everything

I'm worthless at even living a normal life

I have failed in all my jobs

I'm useless

 

 

No Way Out

 

Why, oh why!

Why am I so miserable?

Why am I so depressed all the time?

Why can't I have fun like everyone else?

Why is happiness just an impossible goal?

What an injustice that I was born like that

Worrying about just everything

Incapable of appreciating one single thing

Sinking lower every day

No way out

 

Why, oh why?

Why can't I see beauty?

Why can't I appreciate the simple things of life?

Why is it that I was expecting so much?

Why is it that it is never good enough?

Such high expectations

Standards so high that they could never be reached

It has all gone wrong

A living hell I've made of my existence

No way out

 

Why, oh why?

Why was I born like this?

Filled with an emptiness larger than an ocean

Dreaming of the infinities while watching the night sky

Hoping I was anywhere else in the universe but here

It's not fair!

To be born different

Unable to live a normal life

Unable to accept reality for what it is

No way out

 

Why, oh why?

 

 

If alcohol did not exist

 

If alcohol did not exist

I would never have come out of my tree

I would never tell the truth to anyone

I would still have my job

 

If alcohol did not exist

I would never go crazy

No more splitting headaches

I would not wake up the next day wondering what I have done this time

 

If alcohol did not exist

I would be living a normal life

I would never be totally out of control and lose my mind

I would have not been beaten up

 

If alcohol did not exist

I would never wake up the next day asking why alcohol exist

I would not cry over what I said while drunk

I might be happier

 

If alcohol did not exist

I would have never written anything

 

 

Trying to Connect

 

I'm trying, I'm trying

To connect with this century

To listen to the radio without breaking it

To watch television without be exasperated

To surf the Internet without getting bored out of my mind

 

I'm trying, I'm trying

To connect to this decade

To today's music

To what they are trying to do with these films

To these plays where nothing worthwhile is happening

 

I'm trying, I'm trying

To get into this life

To do my job and go home at night

To not eat and drink too much

To not do anything pleasurable, or I might get cancer

 

I'm trying, I'm trying

To just live this life until I die

To just breathe for a while, while I can

To just enjoy the silence and be peaceful

To not move, just in case something happens

 

I'm trying, I'm trying

Hard and hard, it's not enough

I can't connect, I just can't

I don't know what's going on, I'm just bored

Nothing will ever make me connect

 

 

When I was a little boy

 

I remember when I was a little boy

I was filled with wonder

I looked at the night sky

I asked questions

I could not understand this universe

 

When I grew up

I stopped wondering

I looked at the night sky

I am asking no more questions

I still can't understand this universe

 

When I was a little boy

I watched silently the world around me

I watched TV

I asked questions

I could not understand this world

 

When I grew up

I stopped watching the world around me

I watched even more TV

I can't even think of a question to ask

I still can't understand the world around me

 

When I was a little boy

I did not know what to do with my time

I was as empty as the universe

I was waiting for something to happen

Nothing ever happened

 

When I grew up

I did not have the time to do anything

I was filled with this crap surrounding me

I am waiting for some peace of mind

Too many things happen at once

 

When I was a little boy

I was innocent

I was ignorant

I was nothing

I was indifferent

 

When I grew up

I was no longer innocent

No longer ignorant

No longer nothing

But gosh I wish I was indifferent

 

 

Describing the Heart of London

 

Have I showed you Westminster?

There is no description

Have I described the people?

There are all automates

Have I told the History of the place?

History is in movement, it can still change

An aerial view, perhaps from the Eye?

Every single British film or TV series show it

It’s on the news every day, I cannot escape it myself

Have I told you about Buckingham Palace, the Treasury?

The War Museum, Saatchi, the Aquarium?

The little door on the side of the bridge used in James Bond and Doctor Who?

The women giving you flowers and then begging for money?

The pancake booth, orange juice, hot dogs?

The boats and the double deck buses filled to the brink with tourists?

I did not want to mention them: the global conspiracy lunatics?

Where Prince Charles and his kids live?

You tire quickly when you see it every day

Power, politics, poles, policies, police, poor, poets, public, publicity, pubs

That describes it, and yet, you still cannot picture it

You better buy a tourist guide then

Because no book can translate the Heart of London

 

 

I bumped into the Prime Minister

 

Quickly going into a café to buy a sandwich, a bag of crisps and a yogurt

I bumped into the Prime Minister

Dropping everything on his nice suit

What a mess I have made, I said

He freaked out completely

He said I was insane

He called the police everywhere around him

In minutes I was inside the famous Parliament

I was being questioned while they told me about the new laws against terror

I was terrified all right

They decided to throw me in prison without judgement

They deported me to Washington to be questioned by the President

They sent me to a weird island

I have been tortured

After months of this treatment

I finally admitted everything

I had sex with Osama Bin Laden, ok?

Can I go now?

And then, they let me go!

I could not believe it

So I went back to my daily job in Parliament Square

Now I stand away from the police and the cafés

Unfortunately, while walking to the Underground station

I bumped into the Prime Minister again

Do I know you? he said

Yes, can’t you even remember me?

I sprang to me feet and ran

Never trust a government ready to take away your rights

In the name of your protection and security

Give me bomb threats any day

I will gladly explode before giving away any information about myself

Even though I have nothing to hide

Who am I kidding?

I know they already know everything

At least, give me the illusion that I still have some sort of privacy

So I don’t feel so loudly that I am living in the world of George Orwell

 And please, keep that Prime Minister of yours

Out of my way

 

 

Remaining true to oneself

 

No more lies, ever

Can be plastic for a while

If it serves my purpose

But ultimately, there is only one truth

There is only one destiny

I am following it

It does not involved anyone else

And the crap I tell them when I’m drunk

Does not matter

They are all so insignificant

Even my boss, though I will pretend to break my back over his whims

I don’t give a shit

My boss, I could not care less

This is not what I want

This is not my life

Shining, being successful, making 10 million pounds

These things are not important to me

This is not me

I have created a whole new universe

I am living in there

Whenever I can, that is

However, this is all there is

Nothing else

Westminster, Hollywood

I’m flirting with them, no doubt

When I can get inspired from it

I should not forget that they mean nothing

They should not take me over

I should not stress over them

I am my only master

Only my freedom counts in the end

Only my happiness means something

And I won’t find that in Westminster

Neither in Hollywood

Neither anywhere

It is a state of mind

To not depend on anything, or any place, or anyone

To get there

And I will get there

If I can recognise this, right here and right now

If I can stop and think

I may lose my way here and there

Forget who I am and what I can do

As long as I can remember my nature

As long as I can disconnect from all of this

And remember what it is that I am and doing

Nothing

Then there is hope

 

I won’t play their game

I won’t be part of it

Nothing and no one is important enough

I don’t belong to them

I don’t belong here

There is another world out there

The dream world

The virtual world

My own creation

At the end of the day

This is all there is

And nothing else

 

If nothing else

I will remain true to myself

 

 

Get inspired, if you can

 

Not too many things

Not too many people

Not too many can inspire

Energise you

Break the mould

Break out of this reality

Break out!

 

Why waste time

Why waste a life

Why waste everything

For what is not worth it?

 

Who cares?

Who gives a damn?

No one

Unless they forgot what was important

And God, there are so many of them

With no life anymore

You wish you could take them in your hands

Shake them

Until they wake up

But they won’t, they could not

They are too far gone

 

Not important

You is important

I am important

I need to free myself

That is all that matters

 

I need to get inspired!

I need to revolutionise everything!

Even if it was all and only for myself

In my own little puny mind

 

I need to feel strong

I need to feel I am over everything else

I need to feel free!

To do whatever I want, whenever I want

 

That I could still be successful

That I could still be appreciated

That I could still be desired

That I could still be right there in the middle of it all

Is a mystery to me

 

I should have been cleared years ago

I should have been declared inapt a long time ago

No skills, no talent, no experience worth any salary whatsoever

I am not worthy of working in society

I am not worthy of a job

I am no longer worthy of your attention

 

Are you blind?

Are you completely out of your mind?

Are you that desperate?

Or am I still worth something despite my convictions that I am not?

 

I am ugly

I am old

I am worthless

I don’t give a shit about anything

I am the last person you would like to hire

And yet, I’m still there playing your mind games

And suffering from it

 

Is there not a time when someone should not get any job?

Is there not a time when someone should retire?

Is there not a time when someone should die?

 

God I’m ready

I had enough, more than enough

But we just don’t die anymore

It kills me

Because I want to die

I’m ready

I had enough, more than enough

 

There is nothing else I need to do here

There is nothing else I need to say here

There is nothing else I can do that will make any difference whatsoever

There is nothing I can say that is worthwhile

I’m already dead in my mind

Why can’t you see that?

Is it not obvious?

I can’t get inspired anymore

You have killed any sort of original idea I could have

Nothing is worth it anymore

Not that it ever was

I won’t reinvent the wheel, I know that now

I have accepted it

I don’t care

 

Get inspired while you can

While you feel you can still be inspired

I certainly can’t

I don’t remember a time when I was

I certainly cannot inspire anyone

I might as well retire for good

I will declare bankruptcy and disappear forever

That’s what I’ll do

I don’t even have that courage

You have made a miserable human being out of me

 

 

Making History

 

You can only make a difference

At one specific point in time

Surely enough

You won’t see it at that time

You might even be annoyed at trying to make it happened

Because you won’t believe that you are actually making history

Surely enough

Years later, once everyone has forgotten about you

Or never even known you

They will get back to that moment in time

They will live for that moment

They will wonder who it is that made history on that day

Where they are now

You will then be long gone

 

Do you have a passion?

A passion for what you do?

You must have, or else, how could you have made history then?

Making history is independent of anything else

You just do your thing in your corner

With love and passion and all your heart

And that’s it

There is nothing else beyond that

Making history or not is independent of your control

Of anyone’s control

 

Just do your thing and don’t worry

It will happen or it won’t

It does not matter if you get to know about it or not

That’s what it is, making history

You cannot make it happen

It just happens

 

 

I’m your Westminster’s Whore

 

I don’t even have shoes to wear, god damn it!

I’m naked all the time, right there in Parliament Square

I’m being picked up

I’m being used, I’m being raped, I’m being spit back

Not even one word of appreciation

Was it good for you too?

Do you want to do it again one day?

Farewell then, and fuck you too!

 

I’m your Westminster’s Whore

 

Here to serve

What do you want

What do you need

Here you are

Take it, swallow it, eat it

I don’t care

I’m tired

I’m shaking

I’m dead

I want out

 

I’m your Westminster’s Whore

 

I’m your puppet!

I move to the right

I move to the left

I will not move if you ask me to

I will shut up eventually, maybe

Oh dear, I don’t respond anymore

I must be broken

It must be you!

You have broken me

What’s happening?

I have lost my mind by the Big Ben

At 3 am, you would think the tourists would be gone

Ah! They just won’t get lost

No matter, I’m their whore and I love it

 

I’m your Westminster’s Whore

 

How much money have you got?

Mmh, ok, that’s fine

Where do you want to do it?

Here is fine

I’m beyond caring

Let’s do it right here

In Parliament Square

This is what it has become

Nothing else

 

I’ll be your whore!

Go for it!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Yes! Yes! Again! More! Yes! Ah!

It was my pleasure

I want more

Never enough

I want to screw you all

Until none of you remain

 

I’m your Westminster’s Whore

And I love it

 

 

He slept with a prostitute!

 

Big deal

It’s not like he was not a human to begin with

Being a politician, you can never be certain

They lie so much to get where they are

Their PR campaign tells nothing of who they really are

They are family men

They care for the people

They will do everything they can to help you

Who else on this planet is still that dumb to believe that crap?

The same ones that can’t believe that he is an alcoholic

That he never cared for anything else but his own ambition

The same people that will ask for his resignation

When they learn he has slept with a prostitute

It’s even worse than that

Everyone knew who he was

Everyone knows he does not care about anyone

And suddenly, it is so nice to pretend to be scandalised

To get rid of him forever

He’s no longer fashionable

He did not help sell newspapers

But now he does

It was so boring on this Monday morning

A deep and juicy gossip is what our miserable life needs

Let’s destroy the man

The one that lied to us from the beginning

Even though we knew and did not care

Even though we asked for it

Since only pure and innocent people should go into politics

He deserves it

Sleeping with a prostitute, what was he thinking?

 

A life in politics, is like being castrated

No more sex life

Dedication to the people is what we expect

Because we’re so stupid

We cannot see beyond what is human nature

 

Well, if you wanted to elect a Saint

If you wanted to elect the Virgin Mary

If you wanted God as your MP

Then you should have gone into politics

You hypocrites

 

 

Should I vote Labour or Conservative?

 

Is there a difference?

Really?

Tell me then, I have a few years to waste

Is there another party I can vote for?

Is there any other party that people can vote for?

No?

Why?

I don’t understand…

I have another few years to learn, tell me

We should get rid of these parties

Everyone should be independent

That’s what I think

Let’s get the best person elected

Let’s not vote for a party

We will elect a bunch of fools and opportunists

What? How many billions will these parties spend on their election campaign?

How many hundreds will these independent parties spend on their campaign?

You see the problem, right there

They should all be allocated a budget from the state and make do with it

No more, no less

Then perhaps it would be fairer?

No?

Sorry I even asked

I won’t vote, once again, I don’t see the point, really

It makes no difference

They are all incompetent because they all won for the wrong reasons

We have all been manipulated by the media

Brainwashed by the billions they spent

I am no longer listening

I have never listened anyway

None of them will make the world any better

None of them can

Perhaps it is time to move away from politics

Nothing good will come out of this

It is on an individual basis that something good might come out

That maybe we will make the world a little better

But I don’t hold my breathe

As I don’t trust anyone

Neither should you

 

 

Guilty!